The Power in Quietness

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The world has lost its quietness.

In the fast-paced life of us, humans, where we hurry and scurry to accomplish that which we are tasked to do, quietness has lost its power. Even in the silence around us; even in the faux pax of solitude, deep inside each of us is a turmoil that can not be silenced.

The human heart is deafened by a lot of voices coming from all directions; each of the distinctive sounds seeking to drown each other.  The heart gets disoriented - confused.  The heart no longer knows what to do; what to choose, where to go.

With each of us chasing lofty dreams which are seemingly so distant, we sometimes get lost in the noise around us.  Instead of us focusing our gaze on our goals, we turn around to pat attention to every noise we hear; thus, significantly slowing down our journey to our dreams. With each of us hopelessly flailing around seemingly  vast oceans of ideas and plans waiting to be acted upon, our hearts lack the calming presence of quietness --- of trusting that there is Someone up there who works for us and in us each minute of our lives so that we can surely get to where He destined us to be.

Have we even thought how God, despite our shortcomings and imperfections, has always guided us in the right direction? The noise around us may have made us deaf, but in the quietness of prayer and communion with the Creator of the Universe, we are empowered and we are able to see so much clearly ahead.

For once in our lives, let us savor the power that can only be gleaned in quietness.  For once in our lives, let us turn off all the noise around us and focus on what our hearts are really telling us... only then can we tap into the immense power that is within us:  THE POWER IN QUIETNESS.

Painting the World Through Words...

This is the new page where I plan to paint my world through a medium which I work best on: WORDS!

I'll be moving the poems and essays I wrote through the years to this site.  Hopefully, this is where my affair with words be rekindled... and I hope this site will not be closed, just like Yahoo!360.

Moving On

R-I-N-G!……R-I-N-G…..R-I-N-G!


The alarm clock rang nonstop.


A hand hanging from the side of the bed crept from where it was, blindly groped the side table and roughly yanked the alarm clock in a futile attempt to turn it off. Still drowsy from the lack of sleep and groggy from all the crying, Samantha’s groping hand missed the clock and sent it flying to the floor.


BLAG! CRASH!


And the alarm clock sounded no more.


Samantha’s puffy eyes flew open, not so much from the ringing of the alarm clock but from the crashing sound as it fell to the floor.


Still lying down, she stretched a bit and then, suddenly went still as thoughts of how her world fell apart the day before flooded her mind.


“Damn him! Damn him!”, she cursed to herself as she felt her eyes sting with threatening tears.


She could still remember clearly how ever so gently Jim, her boyfriend for more than three years, told her the words that made her world fall apart. “Sam,” Jim said, “I’m really sorry. I love Megan. I know I have hurt you but I’ll be hurting you more if I keep up with this charade.”


He said something more. Something about her finding someone more than him. “Damn him! Doesn’t he know I’ve built my world around him?” Samantha asked herself through a blur of tears.


The illusion she built with Jim for more than three years crumbled in less than five minutes. And her heart broke into millions of tiny pieces. How on earth was she ever going to live her life without Jim?


How could she last another day?


Once again, the tears flowed unbidden. And she wept for another hour or so.


As she calmed down a bit, she thought about the telltale signs she chose to ignore: the forgotten borthday, the missed anniversary, the countless excuses——- a lot of them. She should have been more vigilant, she should have been more observant, she should have been……… too many should have beens!


Slowly, Samanatha got off from her bed and walked to her window, lingering for a while before drawing her blinds open. Her gaze turned to take in the view of her surroundings, expecting the world to become dark, dull and dreary after Jim was gone.


But the sun was still shining, the flowers bloomed even more beautiful than the day before. And the sky is still so radiantly blue. How could the world be the same when hers was turned upside down?


A knock on her bedroom door interrupted her reverie.


“Come in!” Samantha called softly.


The door opened and her younger sister, Jennifer, flew into the room, literally jumping on her bed as though it was a newly filled swimming pool.


“Hey, Sam! What is this moping all about?”


“Jim’s gone…”


Jennifer was silent for a minute.


“So what, Sam? Only Jim is gone. You are still here. We are still here.”


Samantha walked to the bed quietly and sat. “It hurts like hell, Jen,” she said trying to hold back the tears.


“I know it hurts, Sam, but…”


“You don’t understand. Jim was my world and now he’s gone!”


Jennifer looked at her sister straight in the eye and tolf her,” No, Sam. Jim was not your world. He was never your world. You just chose to believe he was.”


Her sister sat beside her on the bed and told her matter of factly,” Look at those clouds, Sam. Have you noticed that at certain moments, it eclipses the light of the sun? But that’s all it ever does for the sun continues to shine behind it.”


“You are like that sun, Samantha. You are radiant.” Jennifer put a hand on her shoulders and went on, ” Jim being gone is but a dark cloud in your sky trying ro dim your brightness. And dimming your brightness is all he can ever do unless…..”


“Unless what?” Samantha demanded.


“Unless you let him steal the radiance in you,” Jennifer told her sister and engulfed her in a comforting embrace.


Crying and smiling at the same time, Samantha savored the comfort of her sister’s embrace.


Yes, she thought, Jim is gone…. out of her life, out of her world. For now, while the pain is still new, she will let it matter. She will savor the pain and learn from it. For now…


One day, she knew she will be able to look back and say to herself, “It doesn’t matter at all....

(This piece was written way back at what used to be Yahoo!360... sometime in 2006 yet...)

Untitled (Chapter 3)

She didn’t know for how long she slept, but when Nina looked around, she could tell it’s long past lunch time. The unmistakable growl of her stomach told her she should have taken her lunch earlier.  She tarried  on her comfortable bed a bit longer, enjoying the lull of the breeze blowing through her open cottage window. For a while, she wished she were to stay in this paradise forever. She wished she could simply just cast everything aside and start her life over.  Not that she is filled with regrets.  It’s just that she has fallen in love with the simplicity and the relaxed manner through which the islanders lived their lives.  They didn’t have to go rushing through the day.  Yes, they had jobs, but she observed that they aren’t driving themselves too much.  They had time to enjoy their work and to live their lives in such a relaxed phase. Summing it up in her mind, she realized she envied the unhurried lives of these people.

Oh well, she may have taken in too much of her surroundings the past few days to realize she may have missed all the best things life had to offer.  She may have been driving herself too much to the point of not realizing that she merely exists to fulfill her professional duties to her students.

She may have missed so much of life while trying to live her life to the fullest… ironic indeed!

Nina let out a self-conscious chuckle to entertain and distract herself from her wayward thoughts and dragged herself out of bed. She rummaged through the contents of her backpack took a comfortable pair of shorts and spaghetti-strapped blouse, grabbed her toiletries satchel and let herself into the small cubicle of her cottage bathroom.

Music from her portable mini speakers can be softly heard through the splash of the cascading shower. How nice it would be if she were as carefree as this everyday of her life! She closed her eyes and danced by herself under the shower imagining she was Juliet in some fancy dance floor swept off her feet by her dashing Romeo. She let out a wishful sigh and turned the shower off.  She reached for a towel from the rack and wiped herself dry. She stepped out of the bathroom cubicle and headed for the bedroom.

Unwrapping the towel from her still damp body, she turned her mobile music player off. She reached for the a bottle of scented lotion, and massaged the liquid onto her skin. Now feeling so much better and so much refreshed, she headed out to the resort restaurant. She chose the table overlooking the panoramic view of the beach and ordered for herself rice and seafood. While waiting, she took in once again the sheer beauty of her surroundings: the clear blue of both sea and sky, white-sand beaches that seemed to stretch for miles, swaying palm trees that seemed to dance in rhythm with the blowing of the island breeze --- and of course, the amiable island people!

The palatable taste of the food laid in front of her was more than satisfying.  She was even more enamored with this place, she thought to herself. There’s something about the place that makes her want to stay.  Well if not to stay for good, she’s going to make it a point to unwind every once in a while in this island paradise.  For the nth time since arriving at the resort, she congratulated herself for not having listened to the Geneva’s negation.

She smiled to herself as thoughts of her sister came to mind. Geneva, the certified party girl who seemed to thrive in the night life and who enjoyed the hustle and the bustle of the city -  she would probably have fainted of boredom had she been the one to come here.  Jenny wouldn’t love it here despite the relaxing and captivating scenery.  Jenny would prefer to be among the throng of people and lost in the noise that is the city. No wonder why she objected so vehemently when Nina told her she was going to go on vacation at some remote island down south - that she was going on vacation at Buli Island.

“Rrrr ---ii-nnn---gggg!”

For a while, she wondered where the ringing came from. It didn’t occur to her that she set her mobile phone alarm to come off at two-thirty today. She toggled on her phone’s settings, turned the alarm off and placed the gadget back inside her sling bag. Doing so, she remembered why she set the alarm… Matt.

In less than an hour, she’ll be seeing the intruder who made the first day of her stay at Buli Island a little bit heart-warming. She wondered what he looked like in broad daylight.

“You are acting like a teenager, Nina”, something inside her seemed to taunt, “you’re too old to even think of an island romance.”

Brushing the taunting inner voice aside, she put her plate aside and stood up. She headed up to her cottage and found the most captivating man she ever saw standing at her door.

(chapter unfinished, to be continued)

Untitled (Chapter 2)

A soft knock on the cottage door tore through Nina's sleep-dazed brain. For a while, she was disoriented at the newness of her surroundings.  As soon as she looked around her, she realized she wasn't in her own room, but in a cottage at Buli Island.  She was on vacation. She doesn't need to wake up early so she could race with others for bus rides and elevators. She closed her eyes again, resolved to catch up on a good late-morning sleep.

The  knocking sounded again, a bit louder this time.

Nina was left with no choice. She wiped the sleep from her eyes and stretched her arms.  She stood up and unlocked her cottage door, half expecting a resort steward to be waiting outside.

But half of herself expected Matt to be there.

She shrugged the thought aside, wondering what is happening with her.  It isn't a common thing for her to react strongly to a male.  But Matt sparked her interest.

It wasn't Matt though.  It was, indeed, a steward waiting at the door.

"I am sorry for disturbing you, madam.", said the steward, "but there's a call for you at the information desk."

"Thank you." Nina replied. " I'll take it right away."

Nina crossed the sandy path to the main building.  The receptionist flashed her a welcoming smile as she came in and told her, "Please take a seat, madam. Your sister said she'll call again in a five minutes." Having said so, the girl went on to rummage through a stack of papers. Visitor's records, Nina concluded.

The phone rang. The receptionist smiled at Nina and signaled that she pick up the phone.

"Hello?" said an unmistakable male voice at the other end of the line.

"Oh, hello.  Please hold the call while I call the receptionist, sir." she replied

"Not for me, miss." Nina told the receptionist as she handed the telephone.

The girl, whom Nina knew to be Grace as indicated by her identification card, took the phone from her and spoke into the mouthpiece, "Hello, Buli Resort. Anything I can do for you, sir?"

Grace smiled at Nina and handed her the phone. "It's for you, madam."

Nina took the receiver from Grace. She had an inkling it was Matt.

"Hello, Nina. Matt here.", the voice on the other end said. "What's your schedule today"

"Hello, Matt." , replied Nina, trying to hide the excitement in her voice."I planned to sleep late so I could feel how it is to wake up at noontime, laze around and do nothing."

"Hmmm, sounds like there's no room for me in the plan." Matt feigned indignation at what Nina said.

Nina phrased a quick retort, "How about you, Matt? Have you no plans for today as well?"

"As a matter of fact, I have. Unfortunately, you were part of the plan. Having heard you say you planned to spend half the day alone, I guess, I might need to modify it." through the phone, Nina could almost make out the challenge in Matt's voice.

"Well, my plan's open, Matt... in the afternoon at least." she played along. "Are you willing to bargain?"

"Beggars can't be choosers," if Nina didn't know Matt, she could believe the man was genuinely disappointed at having been turned down." I'll take whatever crumb you throw my way."

Her answer was a hearty peal of laughter. Nina guessed it was loud enough for the few people in the room to hear because they looked at her, apparently amused.

She heard Matt laugh as well.

"See you then, Nina. I'll be at your door at three.", Matt curtly said before hanging up.

Nina placed the phone back to its cradle, a smile breaking on her lips as she thought about the arrogant manner through which Matt invited her company. Well, what could she say? Should she have declined the invitation?

She headed for the resort restaurant and ordered coffee. She really isn't fond of heavy meals in the morning. She could make it through the day even without solid food, it seems. But never without her coffee. She finished her cup and headed back to her cottage.

A ringing sound from the inside of her cottage made her remember she hasn't brought her mobile phone with her to the information desk. It registered 6 missed calls --- all coming from her idiot of a sister, Geneva. She smiled to herself when she remembered their conversation the night before.  Silly of her sister indeed to have mentioned about her bringing a man back home when right beside her was a man whom she hardly even knew about. But of course, she could hardly blame her sister.  How could Geneva possibly know Matt was beside her when she said that stupid statement? She took a deep breath, took the seat beside the window and waited for the phone to ring again.

Lounging lazily at the foamed bamboo sofa, she thought about herself.  She didn't usually do it anyway. She was used to doing things as they came because of her busy schedule. She hardly ever had the time to even think that she needed to be away from everything familiar for her to realize that she is nearing her thirties. Oh yes, a couple of years more and she would be thirty. Hardly a spinster, but old enough to risk being left behind by the marriage bandwagon. Did she long for romance? Oh no, she hardly ever thought of that. Her work has taken away much of her time --- nothing much left for herself.  Her life revolved around her work.  She loved the students, she loved her peers. She loved her profession.

But a small voice within seemed to taunt, "Aren't you lonely, Nina?"

Indeed, isn't she lonely?

No, she argued with her taunting mind. She isn't lonely, never ever felt lonely.  For how could a busy school teacher be feeling lonely when everyday, she is lost among the jovial and expectant faces of her students?  How could she be lonely when she could barely breathe with all the paper works she needs to accomplish? How could she be lonely when no matter how fast she thinks she does her work, they pile one after the other? No, a teacher can not feel loneliness.

"Aren't you fooling yourself, Nina?", that irksome small voice joined in again.

Irritated with the way her thoughts are going, she stood up, entered the small dining area and helped herself to a can of juice.  She opened it rather mindlessly, consumed the contents in big gulps and stood by the window, looking  out to the inviting blue waters of the sea. What is happening to her? Why did she start thinking about being lonely and alone when only two days ago, before she departed her Del Valle Subdivision home, she thought she was alright by herself, for all the days of her life?

"Gather yourself together, Nina Salgado.", she murmured to herself, "You will be alright by yourself. You don't need another liar to turn your life around."

The sound of her mobile phone ringing broke her train of thought.


(unfinished chapter)

to be continued...

Untitled (Chapter 1)

The beach was deserted as Nina walked along its edge aimlessly. In the dimming light of dusk, she could barely make out the outline of the small cottage from which she came. Grains of sand scratched the soles of her bare feet. Looking up at the sky, she took notice of the seemingly synchronized twinkling of the stars. Slowly, she lowered herself to the sand and breathed in the salty smell of the sea breeze.

"All alone?", a voice broke her reverie.

Nina turned her gaze toward the voice. The darkness wouldn't let her see the face of the intruder. She can only see the silhouette of broad shoulders and a tall, lean and perfectly sculpted body.

"As you can see, I am.", she replied.

"Mind if I join you here?". the man asked again.

"As you please, sir." Nina retorted.

The man sat a few paces away, both of them facing the open sea. The man picked a few pebbles and threw each one in the water. As the small pebbles hit the water one by one, she could hear the soft splash and swish. The early evening dark that wrapped her whole being may have sharpened her sense of hearing, she thought to herself. In her mind, she imagined the small circles and ripples that followed after the pebbles fell.

Oh well, so much like how life always went, Nina mentally argued. Nothing happens in life that doesn't create any impact on any other thing. It seems that everything is so intertwined. When something touches another, that certain touch leads on to another until the domino effect has spread so far out.....

Couldn't it be possible that what one does at a single instance be isolated from everything else? Couldn't it be possible that one person can be isolated from the rest of the world? Couldn't it be possible that.....

Unconsciously, Nina drew a deep breath.

The moon has now slowly crept up the sky.  Moonlight washed away the darkness of the night and replaced it with a soft glow.  The cottages more than a hundred meters away are now awash with light. But in this little sanctuary she found, she is totally engulfed in the breathtaking beauty of this moonlight-washed beach.

She drew a deep breath again.

"Are you even aware that there's a ghost right beside you?", a voice broke her reverie.

"Oh, you're still there?", was her surprised reply.  She wasn't really paying attention to the man beside her. Completely lost in her thoughts, she didn't even think she had company.

"I'm sorry. You might think I am a bit inhuman." Nina stated in a jest.

"Hmmm, I was sort of indignant," the man retorted in the same manner, "that a woman could ignore my presence like I was just a phantom."

 Nina softly chuckled at the statement. It was true. She wasn't aware of the phantom beside her.

"Do you happen to be a visitor on vacation, or are you a local?" asked the man.

"Visitor ... gone from here in a week.", was Nina's reply.

"Oh, coincidence ... I will also be gone from here in a week." the man said. The tone gave the hint that her intruder was finding the situation funny. Well, she found it funny as well.

"Do you happen to have a name?" , asked the man again.

She laughed at the question. She found the situation funny. They have been sitting here for hours and they didn't know each other's names, for God's sake!

Laughingly, she said," Of course, I do! As I am sure you have, too."

"Matt... short for Matthew."

"Nina ... well, just Nina. My parents were a bit stingy with letters, aren't they? I am just glad they didn't stop at Ni."

At that statement, Matt laughed out loud. "You've got sense of humor, do you know that?"

"Sense of horror,  more so," Nina laughingly replied. "When I open my mouth to speak, people break into laughter and it leaves me thinking what's funny --- my statement or my face."

Matt laughed out loud again. This time, harder.

"I haven't laughed this loud in a long time, you know"

"Oh?" Nina couldn't believe it.

"Long story ... I'd probably bore you to death if I told you.", said Matt.

"Try me. You risk making me bored, but I as hell am sure you wouldn't leave me dead with your life story. Unless of course you do the story-telling while strangling me." , again, this statement made Matt laugh.

"You're an incredible woman, you know that?"

"Really? Just because I make you laugh?" Nina looked Matt's way in an unbelieving manner. "You don't have to flatter me, 'y know. No on'e called me incredible before."

"Then, now you know that you are.", Matt softly said.

"Oh, my mother told me never to believe the moonlight when it speaks... I never thought that the moonlight does speak until tonight.", Nina stated, at the brink of laughing out loud.

"You think I am flattering you?", asked Matt.

"Aye, aye sir!"

A roar of hearty laughter was Matt's reply. "You certainly know how to tickle my funny bone, Nina!"

"I do?", Nina retorted, feigning innocence. The mischievous glint in her eyes gave her away, however. Before she could stop herself, she broke into a peal of laughter herself.

The deserted moonlit beach came alive with their joined laughter.  Their carefree banter made them feel at ease with each other's company.  It's incredible for people who met for the first time to feel like they have known each other all their lives.

Suddenly, a mobile phone rang. Both of them reached into their pockets.

It was her sister, Geneva,  calling.

"Hey, Nina!", her sister's voice spoke through the phone's loudspeaker.

"Oh, hi Jenny! Why the call?" Nina asked her sister.

"Nothing, really.", her sister said.   "Just wanted to ask if the place was great. Of all the luxurious destinations in the travel catalog, I couldn't imagine why you had chosen to wind-up at Buli Island."

"I love it here, dear sister." Nina retorted in defense. " I love the fact that isn't jam-packed with half-naked tourists lying on the beaches or worse, making out on the sand.  It's just what I imagined a relaxing vacation island would be."

"And I love the fact that there's an enigmatic man beside me who has the potential to make my week-long vacation even more exciting and enjoyable." she silently added, half afraid she spoke the words out loud.

"Okey, take care, Nina. Enjoy your Buli Island stay. Will call you again from time to time. Take a lot of pictures... and take a man back with you. You're hardly a wide-eyed teen anymore, in case you have forgotten", her sister jokingly said  before ending the call.

She almost choked at what her sister said. Of all the things Geneva could have mentioned when she called, why did it have to be at a time when this phantom of a man was sitting just a few feet away and heard everything her sister said?

She then slipped the phone back into her pocket. She glanced at where Matt was sitting and felt a bit uneasy to find him looking at her. She didn't usually cringe at the thought of a man looking at her. It's just that being a busy working girl hadn't given her enough time to practice her flirting skills... if there ever was such.

She self-consciously pretended to untangle her hair because she couldn't think of a word to say to break the uneasy silence. If Geneva were right beside her, she would very much love to put a tape on her mouth.

"So, have you found a man to take back home?", Matt's voice broke the uneasy silence, tone giving a hint that he is teasing her.

"Haven't had the time to do so... good thing you asked.", she replied in the same teasing manner, the determination in her eyes. " Now that we're at it, maybe you could be of help, mister Matt."

Both of them laughed at the silliness of the thought.

"Hey, woman, it's getting late... or haven't you noticed the chill?"

"Oh, I haven't taken notice time has slipped so fast. I enjoyed teasing you.", Nina said.

Matt's reply was a roar of laughter.

"Come on, Nina. Let's get going."

Matt helped her to her feet and they walked together to the resort.  They passed by a few couples and small groups of vacationists on their way back to Nina's cottage.

"So, you're staying at Lagkaw Resort."  Matt told her. "You made the perfect choice."

"Why, Matt?" Nina asked.

"Because it's not far from where I'm staying."

"Is that so?" Nina said disbelievingly, thinking everything too coincidental to be true.

"Yeah." was all Matt said, smiling at her.

She smiled back at her newly found acquaintance. He looks good. Not outrageously handsome, but he's certainly looking good. There's something enigmatic about him.

"Shall I be seeing you again, Nina?",  asked Matt. "Before the week ends?"

"Couldn't tell... time will tell." Nina said with a smile. "I'd been here for less than a day and much has happened. A week takes much longer, doesn't it? With you staying somewhere near, the two of us meeting again in the coming days is not impossible, don't you think so?"

"You've got a point, lady." Matt's eyes twinkled as he talked. "Can I have your number?"

"You mean, 1-2-3?" Nina responded nonchalantly.

Matt frowned and was about to say something.

"Of course, I know what you mean, but not this time, Matt. If we meet again in the coming days, I'll tell you..." she smiled sweetly and walked to her cottage. She looked back at the door to see Matt looking at her, apparently up for the challenge. The look in his eyes told Nina she hasn't seen the last of Matt.

Nina opened the door of her cottage.  The spacious living area of the bamboo and nipa cottage decorated with bamboo seats and decors was inviting. It radiated a welcoming ambiance.  It invited her to place herself among the throw pillows scattered on the buri rug laid on the bamboo floor.  The night breeze mixed with the unmistakable relaxing scent of the sea.  She put on her earphones and chose her favorite song from her playlist.  She closed her eyes as she allowed the music to take her to another time....

(Chapter 1 over)